Tuesday, March 4, 2014

E for Effort

On Friday night, as I sat in the passenger seat of my car, husband driving beside me, I turned to him and asked "Do you think I should make more of an effort?".

It was one of those random thoughts, the ones that strike you in the middle of doing something and are usually a good sign your brain is trying to tell you something.

He glanced at me, and without missing a beat, said "No". Bless him, he always says I look good, even when the Hair Frizz Level is at 10.

I looked down at myself, considering that I had chosen to go to the pizza shop wearing my pajamas with no bra. "I do think that I do, sometimes".

How did I come to this? The me of 10 years ago would have been HORRIFIED at even the thought of leaving the house in sleepwear, let alone without some brestical support. But now, I don't think twice about wearing my dressing gown in the McDonald's Drive-Thru (emergency McFlurry runs only) or my PJs to the 7-11. I do draw the line at getting out though. I make hubby go in.

I have never been one of those high maintenance women. I remarked this to my partner who immediately started singing Toby Keith's "High Maintenance Woman (Don't Want No Maintenance Man)". It's true though. I just find the upkeep of being a woman, though nice to do sometimes (eg. for my wedding day) to be too exhausting to contemplate in everyday life.

I see other women going for their monthly hairdressing appointments, nail salon visits, having manis and pedis, waxing, blow-outs, skin treatments, facials and the like and not only do I wonder at the amount of money it all costs, I just can't see myself as wanting to devote that much time to my body.

I'm struck by the sudden self-sabotaging thought that this, perhaps, is why I sometimes step out of the house looking like a sack of potatoes tied in the middle.

"You're married, you've let yourself go..." jokes hubby, with sly side-eye to see if he's pushed the right button of indignation. I refuse to rise to the bait.

"Perhaps I have. But then again, I was never really that much of a Glamazon to start with, my love."

Do you spend Jersey Shore-like amounts of time doing these beauty maintenance things? Does it make you happy or annoyed?


  1. I have never really been that person for make up or fancy hair, I remember in high school when every girl seemed to plaster their skin in foundation like a bricklayer, I would wear nothing, even when I had that dreaded teenage acne. Then when I started working, I was in a bakery that reached temps of forty degrees with the ovens turned on in the summer, there was no way I was going to work with makeup dripping down my face. Then I started working in retail, still in food, and found that I never even learned how to put on makeup. To this day, James can do the pouty lip thing that evens out your lippy better than I can! Then when I started to try and learn how to apply it, I found that everything I tried burned my skin to high heaven. So not much of a loss there.

    I love going to have a manicure, it makes me feel so pampered, but thirty dollars a hit, and I can't really justify it, since my hands are either in gloves or in food or in water three quarters of the day. I'm not allowed to wear nail polish as per regulation anyway!

    I know James would love me either way. He sees me as beautiful in any skin I'm in, even when I was at the point where my whole torso was covered in psoriasis and I could barely look in the mirror. But me? I do wish I made more of a effort. My hair and my toes and feet specifically. I for one would never EVER step out of the house in PJ's, my clothes are something I take pride in, even if I can't afford many things that do make me feel beautiful.

    But my hair has always been something that I could never tame and never handle. It is always covered up with a hat at work and most of the time tucked underneath, but when I am out, I wish that I could make it look as stunning as I see on others. That and my color, it takes me about six to seven months to save up for the next five hour two hundred and twenty dollar session, but some things you can't change!

    My feet are a sensitive area, I think I kicked the last person who tried to touch my feet, so going to get a pedi? It is something I will have to do.

    BUT it all comes down to you, are you doing this to make yourself happy? Or to try and live up to what society deems should be right of a woman? If YOU think you should make more of an effort for YOU? Then good luck to you! I will join you in the challenge! But if you are truly happy with the way you are? Then good luck to you!

    1. I totally understand what you mean about never learning about makeup. I never really learned as my mother didn't wear it, and I was too afraid when younger to ask anyone. Now, I wonder if I should do some sort of course?? Only for special occasions though.
      Hair is a whole 'nother ball game, I think yours is like mine, cannot be tamed.

      You see right to the point - everyone should do what makes them happy. If making yourself up every day does that, all the power to you. Others would never spend so much time on it - but none should be judged for it if that's what they want. I would only have an issue with excessive self-maintenence if you were doing it for other people - or to cover up something else that you were struggling with in your life.

  2. Hmm...I don't do manis or pedis {probably did it once my entire 30 years}, get my hair cut only twice a year, have never coloured my hair nor have I ever got a facial. Having said that, I do put in a bit of effort on my own --- I will wear eyeliner and mascara and a bit of lipstick for work or going out, I like to paint my nails {on my own} and used to straighten my hair everyday {until the hairdresser told me off for that}. I'm happy with that...I like to dress nicely because I feel good when I do it...but I don't need makeup all the time {like some women I've seen with mascara at 6 am at the gym!} Each to their own I say and as long as everyone is comfortable in their skin, great. But I find it hard to spend money on getting all the facials and manis and pedis and stuff...

    1. I definitely agree with the "each to their own" philosophy - if you don't need to look like a glamour model, then why spend the time? But it you want to, then go for it!
      I am like you with justifying money spent on myself purely for indulgence - I think perhaps I should ask for gift vouchers so I would feel less guilty about it!

  3. I refuse to even pay to get my hair cut. I just don't feel comfortable in hair dressers or any of those places.

    1. I used to go to the beautician every fortnight for electrolysis, but when it didn't work I haven't been back. But there were women there that would book every week/fortnight/month. And same for the hairdresser, they're always wanting to book you a "maintenence" appointment.
      How do you cut your hair? I'm thinking of asking hubby to do mine this time, can you learn off youtube?

    2. Sarah, all I was thinking as I glanced at your photographs was ''she's GORGEOUS, she doesn't NEED to put any effort in!''

      I love a good beauty product/playing around with make-up, but that's probably the extent of it! I do my own nails, I haven't been to a hairdresser in TWO YEARS (I'm not actually proud of this; I've just been so frugal that I've been snipping my own locks!) and ha, regular waxing? WHO COULD BE BOTHERED?! A quick shave in the shower does me just fine! We could possibly *all* put a bit more effort in, but there's more to life than that!



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