On Stress

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I do not like to hear people declare that they "thrive on stress". Because I used to be that kind of person, and believe me, it wasn't true. Perhaps when I believed it, waaaay back at the beginning of my working life, I didn't really know what it was. Perhaps.

Over the past two years I have learnt that I do not deal with stress very well. It makes me teary. Emotional. Not a good look in the workplace. I have come up with various strategies over time to combat it, including but not limited to:
- chocolate
- alcohol
- junk food
- smoking
- swearing
- crying in the toilets

Sadly, each of these are only short-term solutions (though I'm ashamed to admit I resorted to chocolate this afternoon). Long-term, I believe I have to build up something I like to call Mental Resilience. I borrow this term from the army - can't remember now where exactly I heard it, but I know Bear Grylls is always on about it. And if Bear thinks it's a good thing, then it's ok by me.

It's not about becoming hard. It's about being able to deal with things as they come at you without falling to pieces. No more blubbering mess.

Problem is, short of volunteering to go on a fitness boot camp, I have no idea how to toughen up. If I figure out how to get it, I'll let you know.

Life, love and the damned heat

I keep thinking at random moments lately "oh, that would make a good blog post". And then I forget all about it. I also have this fixation now where I like to include a picture of some kind whenever I blog, which is silly because it's the words that matter, right? But I really like blogs that include personal photos, makes things more interesting. Gives you a little window into the blogger's life.

Life is pretty awesome right now. I said to my fiancée the other day (still getting used to that word) that things are really looking up for us. I had a great birthday party, and got lots of presents. We got engaged, and I get to wear the most beautiful ring on my finger every day. C finally got his truck repaired (mostly) after 3 years off the road. The weather has been pleasant enough (finally!) to swim. C's parents came to stay and spend some time, and much as they drive me around the twist, it is always great for C to spend time with his father (the only person in the world whose advice he will listen to!).

Next on the agenda is organising the engagement party, and after that... the wedding! Which is kinda freaking me out at the moment, but that's a whole 'nother post...

5 happy moments this week

Inspired by We heart life.

one
My boyfriend proposed. After 4 years together, we are getting married!

two
The ring. It is the prettiest thing I have ever seen. And he designed it for me.

three
Receiving the excited congratulations of family and friends.

four
Finally being able to purchase a bridal magazine without shame or social ostracism.

five
Having my boyfriend's parents here to share our joy.

On blogger's block

I can't blog. I have seriously been thinking about it for days but I just don't know what to write.

The flooding in Brisbane these past few days, and the flooding in the rest of Qld over the past few weeks has made me anxious, scared, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, sad and basically feel helpless (not necessarily in that order).

There really are no words. Except I have an admission - this evening, I'm feeling overwhelmingly GUILTY. Because my home is untouched. Not inundated, not damaged. And so many others lost everything. I can't even imagine what it's like. Is this non-victim guilt? It's weird and unsettling.

I think I need to go back to work. Being on holiday makes me feel lazy and stupid. When I go back to work, I can contribute in a material way to the lives of people affected. Here's hoping anyway.

On my birthday

Yesterday I turned 30. It was a pretty big milestone for me. I always thought by the time I'd turned 30 that I'd be living my dreams. Not entirely sure what those dreams ARE (see previous blogs about lack of life direction) but putting some things into perspective I'm not doing too badly by my own yardstick of estimation. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me. I own a house. I love living where I live. And I have a job that's not too hard and pays fairly decently. I'm rich in these things!

To celebrate my birthday, C offered to take me out for a meal, where-ever I wished. I chose lunch at Mt Glorious Restaurant and Cafe. The idea was, we could enjoy the gorgeous view whilst having a lovely meal. Reality didn't quite turn out as planned.

First, it rained. A lot. When the rain stopped for a bit, the mountain was still shrouded in cloud and the view over the valley wasn't QUITE what I'd hoped. Oh well.
Here's some photos - spooky huh?

When we got to the restaurant, first the service was a tad slow. Nobody came to take our order for about 5 mins after seating. It was in those 5 mins that we realised to our horror, that neither of us liked a damn thing that was on the menu. I have NEVER had that happen before. Not ONE SINGLE THING looked appetising. I'm going to call it "posh food" but you can interpret it how you like - C and I are quite fussy and neither of us eats things like seafood, spinach, pumpkin, mushrooms... and it seemed the entire menu was made up of just those things we both hate! So when nobody came to take our order, we decided to just leave.

Was it rude? Probably, since I'd booked the table and everything. We could have told the staff we had changed our plans before leaving, yes, but there was no staff even around to tell. But at the end of the day, I didn't have to pay $28 for a lunch I probably wouldn't like. Yes, that was how expensive the meals were.

We ended up going up the road to Mialiala diner. It's a great hangout and we've had breakfast there before. It's very popular with motorbike riders that love the mountain roads on the weekend, and the food is very good. We managed to get a seat inside (though it had stopped raining it looked like it would start again at any time) and I ordered a steak burger and chips, while C got lasagne and salad. And boy oh boy, was it good. My chips must have been fried in an oil made from sunshine and raindrops from a unicorn's mane because they were FANTASTIC.

So in the end it worked out. I didn't care that I wasn't having a fancy meal for my birthday, because sometimes, simple is better. I'm having a party with friends and family next week, but from the forecast it looks like it will be miserably wet and raining. For a change. Bah!

Test post

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Originally uploaded by surelysarah

Learning to blog from flickr. This is one of my favourite photos taken recently - we were following another car through a cane field up near Serena, and the dust thrown up made the sunset spectacular.

On Christmas

This Christmas was a different one for me. Not only was it characterised by constant and unrelentingly bad weather, but I also spent it at my house. This is significant for one reason: I have never, in my 29 years, ever not spent Xmas Eve at my parents' farm, and gone to church at 8am the next day.

When I realised this, I felt really adult all of a sudden. Because now I get to create my own traditions, and not have to blithely follow those of my family. C and I will, in future, decide what we want to do for the holidays, instead of just showing up at the usual family 'do'.

In the end, I had a tiring, fairly stressful Xmas Day. But it was heaps of fun and comparatively less frightening that attempting to help my mother put on lunch for twelve, or whatever the number of guests is for that year.

We had a champagne breakfast with bacon and eggs, then I spent the rest of the morning prepping lunch. My brother and his girlfriend arrived and we ate well, but not too much. Everyone liked everything (phew). And then we drove to the farm for dinner, at a leisurely pace due to the ever-present rain.

I got some lovely presents, and most of all I loved spending heaps of time with my family and loved ones. Even more pleasing, I don't feel like I've over-eaten this year. And I've barely had any drinks past the one glass of wine in the evening.

Now my thoughts turn towards the next milestone - my 30th in two weeks' time. And I haven't even sent out the invites... GULP.